WOW...What A Weekend
It all started Friday night after work. I spent the couple hours before Ben's arrival to get laundry done and some cleaning. I was really looking forward to going out and we planned to meet Sara & Marcus uptown in time for the Staind concert. We drove up there, got our favorite parking place that only cost $5 and walked up to the stages. We met them, hung out to see Staind and then made our way to Connelly's Pub for some drinks. We had a blast, danced some and hung out. It was very nice being with friends I haven't seen in a while. We made our way back to car and went home to chill and get to bed.
Saturday morning came too quick and Ben was off to work and I did some things around the house and then chilled out most of day, watching Walk the Line and some other shows I didn't get to watch during the week. Robin, my best friend who I haven't seen since February, came up to visit and we went to Home Depot and Walmart for some things she wanted to buy and we talked alot. It has not been a good yr since she has not been 100% healthy and I was glad to see her Saturday. While we were out at Home Depot, I had an extra housekey made for Ben, a little surprise for him this weekend. I am happy we are doing so well and I only hope it lasts this time. I really don't see any reason why it wouldn't, honestly. So I dropped his key off at his work (he was giddy with surprise) and shopped at Walmart and we went home to meet him. We all had some drinks, caught up on good times and decided to go to O'Charleys for dinner. We made plans for 4th of July to spend the day @ Robin & her husband's house with fireworks and good eatin'. We ate a great meal at O' Charley's and laughed and chatted up a storm. We truly had a great evening with her and I was tickled pink. She left soon after we got home, she lives over an hour away in SC.
Sunday.. Ben & I got up early(8am) and got our things together for the day planned at Lake Wylie with a bunch of friends. We finally got our act together and were on our way down to Lake. Unfortunately, the others didn't find a place where we could park and play so we ended up at "Girl" & Keith's place at their pool. Mind you we in the presence of 2 preggo women...Valerie is almost 5 months and Girl is just about 8 months. They are funny and was a lot of fun & we had a good afternoon of sun & fun. We each brought subs, chips, drinks and coolers, we all hung out at the pool 'til we were tired and wanted to take a nap. So we were home about 5pm and relaxed for the rest of evening. Sara called us to hang out but we ended up falling asleep and went to bed early. But at least we got some sun and fun in everyday so far!!
Monday was a very LAZY day....it was very hot and muggy, so we didn't plan to do much besides stay in and stay cool. We decided to grill out that night and made our "Infamous" Bubba Burgers...damn he can sure make some killer burgers, anyday! We had a lot of "quality" time together, we been having sex more than I ever imagined with him and enjoying ourselves in the meantime. I am truly deeply in love with Ben and I couldnt imagine my life with out this wonderful man in my life.
OK, he isn't perfect but he is working on making things better for both of us and I am happy with that. We have a counseling appt scheduled for next Wednesday and I am very excited. We will meet with a Reverand from Unity Church of Charlotte. This is a start and they don't charge for session, just donate $$ as "love offering." Thursday morning, I will meet with my therapist that is covered under my insurance to work on some issues of my own. I feel I need to get a lot of things inside of me out so I can move on with our relationship. I know he is changing his ways & attitude but his anger issues still remain & the fact I did cheat on him in the last yr. Ihave been very honest with Ben all along and he does know about "Boy-Toy Alex" and Matt from last yr. I know Ben is willing to forgive and forget but I know it has hurt him deeply. I know if I had evidence he cheated, I would be devastated! Needless to say, I did cheat and "moved on" during the yr but look at US now...we are together again & I have no regrets. I definitely feel the time apart made me realize what I wanted and HE is IT. We have some hurdles to overcome but I think with the right direction & guidance, we will make it and last forever. I know it won't be easy but who said Life is Easy? You have to work hard at something you want in your life= my marriage...
Well it is now Wednesday afternoonand I am already looking forward to the upcoming weekend! Tigger the cat will be getting her grooming done Saturday morning at 10am and I am very ahppy. She has gotten soo damn hairy and shedding all over. I will cleaning house up & down before she comes home as there isn't a shitload of hair all over my bed and carpets. There is quite a bit of things I do want to take care of this weekend, I need to get some items from Storage Unit and get some things done around the house. I will enjoy the beautiful weekend and time spent with the hubby.
Good night for now, will keep you posted on the in's & out's of this chaotic life...
TGTWO--That God the Week is Over
Friday, Friday...man it didn't seem like I would get to this day all week, it dragged on & on but I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was quite a fun week and the weekend hasn't even begun. If I forgot to mention I had Royal Box seats for Charlotte Sting game at Bobcats Arena (from work) on Tuesday and we all had a blast. Ben & I met up with Jeff & Kai for the game, Jeff is a friend of mine & he brought his buddy to hang out. We had a good time, got drunk but unfortunately The Sting lost the game. Last night we went uptown for SevenDust concert and it was packed like as usual but it was agreat show and I even got to see MC Hammer at the end of his performance--One word, HILARIOUS!!! It was very crowded so we left soon after the show and crashed in bed by midnight.
I am definitely looking forward to this weekend. We have plans to meet up with Sara & Marcus (my friends) to head to Uptown for tonight's concerts and get a few drinks. I am happy Ben is willing to go out and meet my friends and all; it makes me see how much he cares about making this work because he never was willing to do this when we were together before. Then tomorrow we will have the night with Robin & spend time with her. Then Sunday we are going to Lake Wylie for day. I will need Monday to recoup from all the fun we will be having everyday.
Next week, I will start contacting some Churches to see if they offer any type of marital counseling and if they can refer us if they do not. I fear this will be an issue for us, having the $$ for all the sessions if we can't do it through my BC/BS. I am anxious to find someone who we are comfortable with and can work out our problems exisitng in marriage. I have high hopes for everything to work out, and so does he. We talk a lot more everyday and brainstorm/figure things out together. I truly feel we have a 2nd chance at this and I can only see my future being with Ben and having a family together soon.
Psst...a therapist just called me back, I have an appt 11am Thursday for a 1 on 1 with her. WOW, thats quick since I left messages yesterday afternoon. She will be covered in my insurance policy under "behavioral health counseling". So there we go, she said she will meet with me first then go from there with the couples counseling, she said she can work wth us either way. I am tickled pink right now, I finally get to talk with someone and see what she thinks about everything.
Well today will hopefully go by pretty fast so I can head home and do laundry and relax. Maybe watch Walk the Line thats been sitting on my TV for 3 weeks. Ben will come home his normal time and then we can get ready to go Uptown for concerts. I want to get my rest tonight, if possible so we can hang the rest of weekend. Want to get home and just chill, not feel like i have to much until he gets home.
Tatata...catch you all next week...Have a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend...Enjoy!!!
Half-Nekkid Thursday...
Well TODAY is the start to Speed-Streets Uptown in Charlotte. I am actually looking forward to going up there every night this weekend and see the concerts they are having with SevenDust, Staind, REO Speedwagon, MC Hammer, Twisted Sister, Gin Bossoms and many more. It should be fun and we'll walk around & see all different cars & vendors. We are not going to the race this Sunday but can't wait to watch it in the comfort of my own home.
This weekend is going to be busy for us. Friday, we're going SpeedStreets with some friends, Saturday Robin will come up for the day to spend w/ me shopping for decor for her home. Afterwards, we are all going out for dinner (preferrably Outback) then head back up to SpeedStreets. Sunday we are going to Lake Wylie for the afternoon with a bunch of friends to BBQ, swim and hang out. We don't have plans for Monday but I think we will just enjoy the day together and do things around the house. I look forward to sleeping in Sunday and Monday, spending time with hubby and getting things right with us. He is so helpful and willing to do things for me, help out the best way he can.
Last night, he came home and cooked me a delicious baked chicken and angel hair pasta with parmasean cheese dinner. It was so good and we relaxed & watched American Idol Finale and some shows we had DVR'd. It was just nice hanging out and being together & snuggling. My bedroom has become "our sanctuary" for watching TV and other activites. We don't like the temporary couch downstairs and the TV sucks so we spend all our time in my bed...not a problem!! Eventually we plan to move our couch from our house along w/ the Flat Screen TV & maybe our entertainment ctr into the living room downstairs. We have brainstorming some ideas as to what we can use at "my" new place that we had at the old house, it can be useful & saves us money right now, better for now using stuff we had before. Don't have to worry about extra $$ for furniture and such...Well as stated previously, things all take time, no need to rush and push for a lot right off the beginning.
I am thrilled things have been going well with Ben & I over the last few weeks. I know I have not disclosed every detail of how I decided to give him one more chance to give this marriage a 2nd chance. Honestly, I have come a long way from my mindset a yr ago, I did not want anything to do with him and was ready to rid of him then. Glad NC has requirement of 1 yr separation before filing for Divorce, so I guess we lucked out that we worked this out amicably enough to where I am wanting to give US a chance to & not file for divorce. I have no regrets and feel I made a good decision for my future & happiness. I haven't felt this happy in a long time, maybe since about a yr after we got married. I just never felt such a connection like I do now, it is a great feeling waking up next to someone I love with all my heart and want to devote my life to.
A few things that are scattered throughout my mind...
- the fact Ben does not want to talk about my past yr without him (he wants to forget it all happned, which I feel isn't fair cause I did things I am not proud of or feel have hurt him deeply than expressed to me),
- his issues with me directly and how he feels about this marriage overall. I guess this will all be discussed when we get to counseling..
- A lot to discuss and be able to talk about without anger and disrespect towards one another. That was one more straw that broke the camels back in our relationship, no respect from him or our marriage.
- He seemed to take everything for granted, when today, he does not. He realizes as well as I do, counseling won't make it all fixed right away but we can work out the issues in our marriage that caused the anger and abuse and then move forward.
- I have to admit I am concerned about the cost of the sessions (last time it got too expensive); I am only one with coverage for health-care thru BC/BS, they cover 30 visits a yr and it is $25/visit for co-pay. They referred me to a few therapists in area and I called & got nowhere, but at least I am trying. Even if I get some 1 on 1 sessions with therapist, it would be beneficial in the logn run, better communication skills and be able to work out problems without fighting them out.
- I want to make this work and not fail again. I feel I let down a lot of people last yr but I felt I was left with no choice at that time. I know if we work hard and go to sessions together and talk out these problems, there is no reason why we can't make it last.
Today I have made appts for our cat, Tigger to get groomed next Saturday and has a Vet appt for June 24th so she will be 100% cleared and looking great again. Lately she is shedding like crazy and it is nasty. It is only going to cause my allergies to get out of whack, so it's better to get her groomed!!
Ideas for Anniversay Getaway..in September
- Key West for 4 days--1st choice !!
- Pigeon Forge area, Tennessee--#2 CHOICE..less expenive than above to get there and have more $$ for fun things to do!!!
- Mountain lodge with jacuzzi {already stayed there last winter} for long weekend
- Savannah Georgia, never been but hear it is beautiful in September
- Charleston, SC (never been to) and stay in bed n' breakfast
- JUST ANYWHERE AWAY FROM CHARLOTTE
Feel free to give an ideas..we live in North Carolina..
Well off for now..
Confessions of a Married Woman's Sex Life
I woke up this morning feeling something poking me from behind, hmm...Ben is rearing to go at 7am...great for us!! Damn.... eyes wide open for this! I am an early-bird morning chic when it comes to sex...everything in the morning feels great, wetter, warmer, slippery and hard as hell!! Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the late night romps too! But nothing beats a morning started off with some GREEAAATT love-making.
Ben & I just RECENTLY started engaging in all sexual acts, It wasn't automatic when we did hang out and were friendly and unsure if we would remain married or not.
Well, this weekend was the BOMB when it came to sexual encounters between Ben & I. I must say, this man doesn't take a break for air or for just being wore out!! Believe me, I am NOT complaining! He has some skillz & TODAY I completely understand the meaning of G-Spot orgasm!! This experence was more intense than anything I ever experienced in my life. It was overwhelming, breathtaking and left me shaking inside. All I could do after was lay in his arms smiling, I was at the brink of tears, NEVER before! I never felt 100% comfortable about my body w/ Ben in the 9 yrs we have been together, but this weekend I completely let my mind be free (no hang-ups about my body) and allowed myself to truly enjoy myself. I was weak at the knees when I finally had to stop because my poor body couldn't take it anymore. Talk about multiple "O's"!! Never before had I had such powerful body shaking ones. He never once complained how his mouth was sore or tongue or other parts of body..which was relief to me. He took 100% care of my needs and urges all weekend and we pleased each other until we couldn't see straight. His touch, kisses, licks and fingers worked magic this weekend, if we could of stayed in bed ALL weekend, we would of. My bed has this way of making you feel 100% comfy and un willing to move out of it...{It is the best mattress I ever had and it is definitely a keeper}. J I think it just sucks, life and work gets in the way of SEX!! He has always had stamina but never before did I feel the complete feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction. His actions definitely spoke LOUDER than his words..I'm still feeling weak.
He really wore me out! Ben never leaves me hanging on, hoping IT will happen the next time we get down together. Men in my past NEVER cared enough just to pleasure me to a BIG O' and be happy with that, it was always about what's in it for him afterwards. I enjoy giving pleasure all the same but Ben has always been one to take care of me and leave it at that. Things are changing here these days, I am more receptive to his touch and needs too. I have learned some wonderful techniques from the adult DVD's I watch often and he is very pleased with my skills orally. We are more open to try next positions which turns me on so much, and I feel the more we try things, the better things can get for us. I must admit, I am turning into a BIGGER hornier chic day by day...he has me addicted to the connection we share when we participate in these activites and we are both very happy in this dept. Not to mention how willing he is to having his face in between my thighs everyday/night. I feel we have re-ignited a passion we lost about 2 yrs ago...and now is the time we focus on what makes us tick.
I wake up any given morning, open my eyes and smile, seeing him sound asleep....dreaming. I wonder what he dreams about, he never tells me and if asked, he doesn't remember. Lately, I have become more daring by wearing no panties/pants to bed @ night--OH what a thrill!! I am speechless (more or less) most of the time when collapse into each others arms afterwards. He holds me so close and I hear his hearting pounding fast, he breath is heavy and mine is too; it is so wondeful being with a man I truly love with my whole heart.
It is most exilerating when we can look at one another and read each others thoughts and reactions... We think alike, laugh at the same funny things and even times when we share a moment of complete stupidity, we laugh together. I have this deep down feeling we will last and things will be right with us.. He is trying daily to make good on his mistakes of his past and I am doing the same. He reassures me that HE wants to be the husband I dreamed of having and he is certainly working his way to that status. I can never say he is mean or unloving to me, as of late, and we treat one another with a higher respect and descency. It should be like that from the start but now it is even more apparent.
SIDE NOTE*** Robin, my best friend and her husband, are being 100% supportive and very excited about our reunion/reconciliation of our marriage. They helped us move out of our house in Februrary and they cried and were very emotional over our pending divorce. Robin has been part of my life longer than Ben & I have been married and she knows when I am happy nad when I am miserable. She told me Monday she hears in my voice how happy I am and I have a different tone in my voice. They are glad we are making this marriage work and putting forth the effort to be married happily ever after. I can admit, MARRIAGE is hard work and it takes a lot to make it last forever. Today, I do see Ben & I dancing together at our 50th wedding anniversay and sharing it with our close friends and family.
So anyway, I just wanted to mention how great things were going with Ben & I... Our sex life is the BEST it has been in a very long time. It has been nothing short of excellent and it can only get better. We talk a lot and keep our minds open to new things, maybe take him to strip club so I can learn some stripper moves OR go to a strip-tease dance class, there's got to be one around here somewhere...that would be exciting in itself...so I can tantilize him with a sexy strip tease at home one night...hmmm ideas ideas...oh the fun!!! How much he would enjoy that??...a good jump start to work him into a fun night of messing up OUR bed, again...
Life...Goes on...
Sorry it has been a few days since I last posted but my life is busy and full of excitement. My weekend was perfect, all thanks to being with Ben and we attended yet another Nextel All-Star Challenge at LMS. Friday was relaxing, we vegged out mostly after work, ate dinner (forget what we ate though) & fell asleep early.
Saturday was a chill day for me, Ben went off to work and I stayed home and cleaned, did laundry and watched some movies I been wanting to check out. He arrived home by 4:30 & we chilled out a bit. He got changed and we drove up to LMS for race that night. It was on & off rain showers up there and we spent an hour looking for a parking spot. Cost us $20 to park and we had to walk over 2.5 miles to get to our gate. GEEZ....nothing like a brisk walk in the rain!! It was a great night, Dave & Lori & their family were there sitting behind us. I had a couple Marquritas and Cheeseburger for dinner. The race was good, rain delayed for about a 1/2 hr and then they were back on track and it was exciting. We sat in turn 4 and it was one of the best times I had..all spin outs happened near us and we had a clear view of the track the whole night. Jimmy Johnson #48 won the 1 million $$ prize! It was disappointing to see #88 (DJ) race the laps and not even get a top 5 finish..SUCKS!!! Such is life. We left track damn near 12:15 am and didn't walk in the door til 2am! Traffic was not bad at all, just usual delays in getting out of parking area, but coasted all the way home once we got on 77. We both passed out soon after.
Sunday...we did sleep in 'til almost 11am. We were feeling rough from the night before, body was sore and kinda exhausted. I felt like doing a whole lot of NOTHING and that is exactly what we did! We hung out in my bed all day, watching TV and movies and talking and laughing & napping. It was a much warmer day & the sun was out, but we were totally exhausted. Kinda feel bad I let such a nice day pass us by, but I knew there will be more to enjoy. We cooked out Bubba Burgers @ night and watched some of our shows and passed out by 10pm again...No regrets...
As you all know, Ben has been staying at my house for a while now and just feel it would be best if he does officially moves into my place and we can start this process all over. I feel this time
HONESTY will be a 1st priority and eliminating the need to do drugs the whole time we spend together. It is only greenies at this time, but eventually it will have to come to an end andtime to get Ben clean and able to bear daily tasks. I know it will be a hard time for him btu it will be worth it in the long run. I feel by getting to know one another again, develop a deeper connection than before will be crucial. He & I share so much love and have hopes for a good life together, I don't see us being apart anymore. It would of been a perfect situation if we didn't have to go thru what we did this last yr, but I think it gave me of an idea who I was, what I want from Life and enforced how much I truly love my husband. I feel ashamed of the way I behaved last yr, I was carefree and enjoying living without him in my life, I know it hurt his feelings that I had moved on with my life without him, but today I want him in my life permanently. I made mistakes in our marriage and feel it is as MUST to make good on them. He has made many mistakes and we can only grow & learn from them all. I was so blind to see what he wanted and how he felt about me. I didn't behave as a wife should of and I denied him any form of love & affection from the moment I walked out the door, March 2005. I thought so many bad things of him, thought he cheated on me after the miscarriage--he didn't. He swears up and down it did not happen and I feel he is telling me the truth. He knows how important Marriage is to me and we don't want to be another statistic. Studies show 50% of marriages end in divorce within the first 5 yrs; NOT US!!! We are willing to do what it takes to make it work and move forward and be true to one another.
Spoke w/Lisa, my landlord, Monday via e-mail...we never met in person as of today. It is kinda weird, I pay her mortage by living in her home AND have not met her face to face. Anyway, we discussed the probability of Ben moving in soon (by end of June) and she suggested renting it to me outright, meaning what? I am guessing by her stating she would move all her belongings out of the house that means we will have the place all to ourselves. She would no longer keep a bedroom for herself, remove all her effects and we will be free n clear of having any intrusion. That would definitely be a bonus for both of us. Meaning we will not have to worry about her coming to stay for a weekend. Besides, we are not financially ready to move into another house; living here is ideal..no grounds upkeep, house is in good shape and we have enough room for a guest room & 1/2 office & hobby room. We can move some of our own belongings into the house to make even more "homey" for us and we can dive into some decor/upkeep work. In the future, we can have the room for a nursery when the time is right! I can see it now, a yr or two down the road...a baby to plan for and prepare a room for..OOOOHHH I dream of those days, my time is coming closer!! Besides, having this place for us will give us more leway do as we need to w/the place and make it more of our own too. I have ideas we need to get into motion so we don't lose the focus. Granted it is $1,000 a month to live there but it is well worth it since we work soo close and we like the neighborhood. We both are gainfully employed, make decent $$ and if we get everything inline with our finances, we should be smooth sailing. It is quiet, secure, laid back except for home owners association, but who gives a shit? We don't! I am pretty excited about everything & once he moves in and see what financial situation we are dealing with then we can move forward and do our own thing.
I am still weary a little about how this will all turn out. It has been a while since we lived together and it doesn't feel as if we were apart at all. There is a lot to still work on and get counseling and I am not being naive to believe it will all be fixed right away but I think we have a great start to something wonderful. I feel we will get thru this and it is just one road bump we will get over and move on from... We will celebrate our 5 Yr Wedding Anniversary this September. I want to plan something very intimate and romantic for the weekend. I want to get away and have time to be together and be away from Charlotte. I am just happy, wishing we could spend more time together during the day/weekends....
This week is dragging AND it is only Tuesday. We have plans to go out tonight to see a WNBA Charlotte Sting game at Bobcats Arena. It should be fun, sitting in box seats for the 2nd game of season. I am looking forward to seeing the game tonight, if it sucks, we can will leave and go right home. The fact is I didn't pay for them but it should be fun since I never been to one of the WNBA games here.
Thursday is a big day for my sister. She is happily graduating from Ocean County College with a Business degree and heading to Georgian Court College to finish her Business Mgmt degree. I am truly proud of her and how much she has accomplished in the last 4 yrs since Anjaneya was born. She has definitely come a long way from graduating HS...She is a sparkle in my eyes this week!
Memorial Day Weekend is ahead of us and since I bailed on having my Memorial Day BBQ this Sunday (low funds to shell out lots of $$$) Valerie & Kelly invited us to join them & friends on Lake Wylie for the afternoon to BBQ, swim and chill out... Just enjoy the beautiful day with friends. And then we all have off on Monday, which I do hope we can get some things done aroudn the house and maybe do some shopping at Home Depot for my shelving system I want for Master bedroom...
All together, Life is good...anxious for the upcoming weekend and PAYDAY...
Catch ya'll later ...
110 THINGS ABOUT ME...
Here we go...1. I have hazel-blue eyes
2. I was born and raised in NJ {by the "shore"}
3. I have one sister, Kristie Joy
4. I was picked on & abused by kids all through school
5. I was NEVER popular in school
6. I did not make good decisions as a teenager
7. I used sex to be friends with guys or gain popularity w/ guys
8. I had braces for 4 yrs and then wore a retainer
9. I have changed my hair color so much, I am clueless as to my real natural color
10. I never had a real long term boyfriend, until Ben, my husband
11. I used to "escort" when I was 19 yrs old
12. I got my 1st tattoo when I was 18, a daisy on right hip
13. I had my clit "hood" peirced when I was 19yr old
14. My 2nd tattoo was 2 dolphins surrounding my daisy
15. My 3rd tattoo is a free style cross on my left hip
16. My 4th tattoo was a large colorful tribal anklet on my rt ankle
17. My 5th tattoo was a sunflower on top of my left foot
18. 6th tattoo was across my lower back "BEN"
19. My first car was a 1987 Dodge Charger hatchback
20. My 2nd car was a 1994 White Saturn (4 door)
21. My 3rd car was a 1995 Volkswagon Jetta (hunter green metallic color)
21. My 4th car was a 1999 Daewoo Leganza (dark green again)
22. My fifth car and I am still driving it, a 1995 Toyota Corolla Dx (4 door)
23. I met my husband thru a mutual friend in Summer of 1997
24. I fell in love almost immediately with him and KNEW he was the ONE for me.
25. I was 22 when I first moved out of my parent's house and into an apt with Ben in NJ
26. I experimented a lot with illegal drugs but not anymore
27. I love to smoke green "goodies" ....LOL
28. I enjoy SEX and anything to do with SEX more than any other female I know
29. I have had no complaints when a man has "GONE DOWNTOWN"
30. I love/enjoy to keep my man pleased and satisfied
31. I have a spunky/bubbly personality
32. I have 36C bra size
33. My 7th tattoo is located in between my shoulder blades, tribal butterfly design
34. I have worked a JOB since I was 15 yrs old.
35. I did not finish college and don't feel bad about it
36. I want to have children and be a MOM
37. I have been w/ my husband for almost 9 yrs in June
38. We will celebrate our 5th yr Wedding Anniversary on Sept 16th, 2006
39. I have 4 close girlfriends and I am happy with that fact
40. My favorite shot is Tequilla
41. I hate BEER
42. I love Yaeger Bombs, YUMMY
43. I smoke cigarettes and I know it is VERY unhealthy for me
44. I love the weekends to do as I please
45. I want more tattoos before I get too OLD
46. I have a cat, Tigger
47. I grew up with a Poddle/Sheep dog, Corbu
48. I have a addiction to Cookie Dough Ice Cream
49. AND Salt & Vinegar Potato Chips (LAYS)
50. I had my clit/hood re-pierced in June 2005
51. I met a guy named Matt Jones last March 2005 and we lived together for 4 months,
when I was separated from my husband.
52. I feel I learned a lot about myself in the last yr {2005-2006}
53. I hate artichokes, olives, and onions
54. I love Italian food--Veal Parmasean is my favorite
55. I would eat Mac n' Cheese everyday if I could
56. I wish I could afford a exotic vacation somewhere far away from Chlt NC
57. I had my tongue pierced last Nov and no longer have it...:0(
58. I am very undecisive
59. I love having a routine during the week
60. I love NASCAR racing..#88 Dale Jarrett
61. I never want to be single AGAIN
62. I am married to my Soulmate & Best Friend
63. I lost my virginity at the age of 15 to a man who was 20
64. I honestly have no IDEA how many men I have slept with
65. I have had "sex" with 2 women in my life
66. I have had 4 threesomes in my life
67. I love sex with my husband
68. I enjoy watching Porn --DVD's (not cyber)
69. LOVE '69' !!!!
70. I am only 4'9 not 4'11 as previously thought
71. I wear my heart on my sleeve
72. I am emotional at times
73. I never give up on myself
74. I have never had sex without a condom until I married my husband
75. I am perfecting the Art of Seduction
76. My cell phone is my LIFE LINE to everyone
77. I own more than 1 sex toy, actually have 4 of them
78. I wish I loved closer to the beach
79. I sell relationship enhancement products in my home thru Pure Romance Parties
80. I wear a size 6 and proud of it
81. I love living in Charlotte NC
82. I snore sometimes
83. I have an array of curse words I use regularly
84. I have never broken any bones in my body
85. I have been in 5 car accidents - never been my FAULT
86. I never had a DWI
87. I have never been arrested
88. I love going to concerts
89. I have never been overseas on vacation
90. I hate feeling uncomfortable
91. I'm addicted to LOST & FAMILY GUY (tv shows)
92. My favorite position in bed is DOGGY-Style
93. My 2nd favorite is On Top
94. Friday is my favorite day of the work-week
95. I maturbate at least 2 times a week (alone) while watching Porn DVD's
96. I am looking forward to being at Nextel All-Star Race Saturday night at the Speedway
97. I love sex in the morning--1st thing!
98. I have never had a "nooner"
99. I love to be spontaneous and carefree at times
100. I am very forgiving
101. I AM GETTING ME SOME GOOD LOVIN' TONIGHT!!!
102. I love having my toes licked
103. I love receiving full body massages
104. I am never late for anything
105. I want to be pregnant in a year
106. I hope my first child is a BOY
107. I want to also have a daughter
108. I am an affectionate person
109. I do not being lied to and hurt by others
110. I AM GETTING SOME GREAT ORAL ACTION TONIGHT....HMMMMMM
SO THAT'S IT....Over 100 THINGS ABOUT JENNY....
PLS FEEL FREE TO LEAVE A COMMENT IF YOU DESIRE.
Weird & Interesting Week thus far
Since I took off from work yesterday for some R&R (long overdue), I am feeling much more "refreshed". My week so far has been wonderful, a lot better than some I have had recently. Work is a little slow and like that I have freedom to update my blog often and keep up with friends thru messenger & e-mails. So, anyways Wednesday morning I woke up my usual time but stayed snuggled up next to Ben until he had to really get up & ready for work. From the bottom of my heart, I truly feel we belong together and the connection we have is going to be everlasting. We have something not many people have and I feel blessed we have found it again. I feel the time apart to grow and learn about ourselves was a healthy decision, I had time to experience things alone & it has only made me realize how much I do LOVE him and wouldn't change this feeling for anything. I am feeling things I haven't for soo long between us. I put up a wall between us and now slowly breaking it down so we can truly love and commit to one another. I feel a renewed sense of "marital bliss".
Even though, I had mentioned in previous blogs how he hasn't changed and I wanted a divorce, I never took the time to look deeper and see what he is doing for himself andour future. I didn't want to hear his words and promises cause I still had some "fun: to get on with before deciding what I truly want. I accept our differences and know the love we share is worth all the effort we will put into this marriage to make it work. We have such a good connection right now. I never truly believed we would be over for good, but now I know he is the man who I want to share my life with and experience all life has to offer. He makes me smile at any given time, can make my day brighter by a phone call and just is someone I see a lot of love from within.
After he went to work, I cleaned my house up & down and it made me feel good. I did accomplish more than I expected and I am soo happy about that. Even got to go thru most of my PR stuff for when I start up the business again. Summer is usually very uneventful for booking parties so I will apply for a waitressing job locally or reception job on the weekends or some nights. It will help alleviate the money stress and just give me a lil' extra cash as well.
Early afternoon I watched a couple "adult" DVD's so I would be "primed" for his arrival home to me later that afternoon. {Yes, I do indulge myself in some erotic videos to get ideas and to set the mood for what is in store that day or evening} When he came home, we hung out & decided to grill out some Bubba Burgers and then go out for a drink or two afterwards. We timed everything perfectly, ate dinner before 7 and enjoyed some" intimate" time before heading out for a drink at Applebees. Let me just say, TALK about INTENSE, and definitely something to say WOW about!!! It was very unexpected for him and it was a great start to the evening. All I can say WE had the feeling of ectasy & pure satisfaction the rest of evening. We left for drinks, hung out about an hr and came home to watch American Idol and Lost. I am addicted to LOST and it just has so many twists and turns, it definitely keeps you guessing. We snuggled up in my bed, watching our shows and I felt an even deeper connection with Ben, we soon fell asleep with me laying in his arms. It was one of the best nights we had together in a LONG time and boy was it worth it!
I had an idea for one of my blog entries and I thought it would be pretty interesting. I am going to dedicate my next entry to Things About ME. I encourage any of you who read my blog to comment about things I jot down or things about yourself and keep it going ...I think it will be fun and once again, you get a deeper view of Who I Am...
So I will close with that and will start upon my blog entry all about me...
Take care and have a GREAT Thursday!
Where Did the Weekend Go??
This picture of Ben & I was taken Saturday night when we were hanging out next door...We do make a nice couple!WOW...it sure flew by!!! But I had a greeeaaaaat weekend and definitely looking forward to this week. Prison Break Season Finale & 24 !!! I am so hooked on these shows and excited to see what happens. AND tomorrow it's down to the last 3 of American Idols to perform! Wheeeew--its going to be a good week!
Our Friday night went very well. Ben & I met up with my g/f's Valerie, Sharon, Girl, Amanda, then their significant others for dinner at Sir Edmund Halley's. This was the 1st time they all met Ben and everybody was very comfortable. The place is a Pub/Restaurant, snuggled in the middle of a big shopping center. The appetizers, food and drinks were good. We sat there for a couple hours, drinking and talking and etc..After dinner we all went back to their house to hang out, drink some & play darts til 12:30am...got in by 1am...I am so happy, Valerie went to Dr's Friday for her ultrasound and SHE IS HAVING A BOY!!! Sharon is having a GIRL and Girl is having a BOY. It sure has been a busy month for all of us ans seeing them so happy make me happy too. Just wish I had a part in this too. Yes, a twinge of jealousy sprouted its ugly head this weekend!!! UGH I am envious of them and their true baby bliss! I wanted to be a mom over 2 yrs ago and just want to be a MOM in the future. Well, If Ben & I can get all of this worked out, we can plan to start a family in a yr or so, and just complete our goals in this family! It will just take more time than I expected!
Saturday, I slept in til 9am, hung out a bit around my house, went & got my nails & toes manicured, got some lunch @ Bojangles, and went home to sort thru my Pure Romance stuff I brought over from storage. I am starting to get that burst of energy to really dive into this business all over again and get it rolling big time! After work, Ben brought over hot subs for dinner but we hung out some and relaxed until we were hungry. After everything, we decided to head over next door to hang out & shoot some pool/drink with the neighors! We stayed there til 1am and came home to watch the Nascar race at Darlington we DVR'd. I was exhausted by 2am and fell asleep on him, AS USUAL.
Sunday was the BEST day! We both slept in til 11am and then went out for breakfast. Went grocery shopping and picked up some neccessities for the week. Came home and did some organizing of the garage, my bedroom, kitchen and did a lot of laundry. I cooked a really nice Chicken, Potatoe & Biscuit baked dinner and we loved it. It was soo delicious and was a big portion for both of us. We watched most of our shows we been DVR'g all weekend and just relaxed all night. Didn't get into too much but we talked a lot, drove over to my storage to drop some stuff off that I don't need and went to his place where he rents a room (but not for too much longer), got some more clothes for him and visited briefly with Lori & Dave (his boss) for a while. Everyone is being supportive of our decision to make it work again & see if we can repair all the damage done and start over. I think if we truly work at it, it can work out for the long term!
Although Ben & I haven't engaged in much sexual activity together in the last yr, I think if we keep our "interests" on each other, I can definitely keep my interests on him in the bedroom.... Boy, I had forgotten how nice it was to have someone looking forward to coming home to me, sharing in our long day and wanting to hold me in their arms. He thinks it is soo wonderful how I lay with my head in his lap in bed and slowly fall asleep while he runs his fingers thru my hair or massaging my back softly. Waking up in the morning next to each other is also just as delighful. Granted this is just the beginning of something renewed for us. I have realized I have become very self conscious of my body since last summer, I just am not 100% comfortable in my skin yet. (again) Ben has an insatiable craving to see me naked (begs for it), wants to touch me all over and DEFINITELY go down on me too. He has always enjoyed "going downtown" but more so, now! I unfortunately had the "monthly visit" this weekend but hope when it is over, we can start to re-explore each other. We always had a great sex life and we were open to trying new things/toys/positions in the bedroom. That has always been a strong point in our relationship...i think the combination of unfortunate events which caused his Temporary ED almost 2 yrs ago.I must say I have put a lot into my marriage before to the point of exhaustion and IF he shows the same amount of dedication, we can be HAPPILY married again and this time FOREVER. I do love Ben and giving US this chance to make it IS the best gift I could of given him. He is just happy to have this chance to be back with me and try it again, for good. It is not going to easy or a quick process, even though living together would be a perfect arrangement right now, financially. We understand it will take time and be a fresh start on a renewed marriage. Eventually, he will move back over with me and we can consolidate our stuff. I have such high hopes this time around, just feel it can work out now and confident he will hold up his end of the marriage. This will be a great decision for both of us!
***I just checked on Matt's (the ex-boyfriend) blog AND things are going great for him. He is still dating Alecia, he is very happy.....YES, I am slightly envious of what they have, but know if me & Ben keep working hard on making OUR marriage stronger & loving, we can have the same ultimate happiness we had before***Well, as sands of the hourglass, so are the DAYS OF MY LIFE.....
Friday, Friday, Friday...
I have been giving a lot of thought to my current living & separation arrangement. I have done the whole online dating scene and it hasn't worked out at all. I have dted and met a bunch of men who aren't my type and I have not been happy with anyone since Ben. It's been a a experince and nothing but disappointment and disgust. **I hate dating and looking for my next soulmate, when all along there has been someone who has loved & accepted me unconditionally, Ben (my husband of almost 5 yrs). When I left him March 2005, no matter what I was doing, who I was with/sleeping with or what our problems were, he has always been there willing to take me back and work at it. It has taken me this long to come to some realization HE is serious about our marriage, he has made baby steps to keep me important to him and is mor than willing to work this marriage so we last forever. Granted, I have blogged about him sine day 1 on here about how I didn't want to be with him, he is lazy/unmotivated, that we didn't have a good history of stability, BUT if he was given this LAST chance to prove to me he has changed and willing to do what it takes, then why shoudn't I?? He tells me he knows how EASY it would be for me to leave and say forget it, so why would he risk losing me for good? Can you see it my way? I know I keep going back n' forth with this whole situation, I just feel I would regret it if I didn't give our marriage one last chance to see if it can work. He has made me happy in the past and if we work hard at our relationship, it can be FOREVER. It will take two of us, not just one, and he sees it that way too. We know we CANNOT fix us or each other, it will take more than that.
Yes, this will be a big step for me. I want us to be honest about EVERYTHING {credit card debt, past due accts just to name a few) because we need to know what we are getting into (again). He needs to be willing to go to marital counseling (when we find someone who we can trust and feel comfy with), have open communication, don't be lazy & wanting to do things with my friends and not be anit-social. There is trust issues and committment issues as well. Things will have to change if we do fix this "broken marriage". If we end up being together then it all worked out for a reason. I truly feel if we can overcome some of the obstacles (as we have in past), we can make this truly a loving and rewarding marriage again. I am feeling a little overwhelmed and feeling weary about all of this, but I need it for me to figure out once again how it can be...on MY TERMS. Time will tell with all of this, BUT I am willing to give it all I have to make it work, as long as he doesn't expect me to do all the work. This weekend will be a good one, time to work out alot and talk and compromise on how this marriage can be helped and saved. I honestly do not want to go out and look for anyone else, HE is the man I truly LOVE.
This week, I have decided to get back in Pure Romance Parties. It is an in-home Ladies Only party program/plan. I was selling the products about a yr ago and stopped due to the issues with marriage & all. I did absolutley great when I started, had great sales and customers, repeat party women and orders. I can truly make it work even more for me and it will give me the freedom to have a social life outside of the house and make some good money doing these parties. I will make every attempt to make this MY success story and grow my business. This time I will be more organized and on top of what I need to run an in-home business. I will network and spread the word about my starting over and selling such great prooducts. I will keep on top of everything, follow up with customers and hostesses, advertise and be the best I can be. I still have my old customer info and I can just re-ignite the spark for them once again. I am feeling very motivated and dedicated to doing something I can eventually work with full time & be able to work from home. It just will take some time and effort on my part, which I am willing to do. I am very exicted and anxious to start this business again and sell top of the line products for the relationship enhancement aspect in a relationship.
If you are intersted in looking at the array of products we offer, please feel free to check out the website, www.pureromance.com. I invite you to browse the site and if you are in North/South Carolina, you can contact me directly for orders, information or a free catalogue! Email me @ trilliumplace@yahoo.com..Thanks a bunch in advance!
Well work is very quiet today and I have some things to get done before I head out...Will keep ya'll posted on the progress of my business, love-life & social life...Have a great weekend...and HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY to all the Mom's out there!!! C-ya
Welcome Back from the Weekend...As planned, I spent Friday nt w/ Dustin and had a really nice time. Since it was the busiest day for all Mexican restaurants (and IT WAS an all out DOWNPOUR) we would have to wait in the rain for over an hr, so we decided to make Mexi-food at his place and enjoy our evening there! We made frozen marguritas/teq shots/yeagerbombs & nachos with grilled chicken, olives, extra cheese and chips. It was soo good and just what I wanted to do. We hung out and talked about everything, as usual, and he played his guitar & we sang songs at the top of our lungs. One fact about Dustin & I, we always have fun & isn't neccesarily sexual either. We have hooked up on a couple occasions & had lots of funw ith it but I just don't want to sleep with someone cause it is convenient or we are drunk, but do IT for all the right reasons. I just can't see us being more than friends and I'm totally comfortable with him. He is very honest, humble, funny and down to earth. We met about 7 months ago after chatting online for a while and just hang out whenever our schedules allow. He is Ops Mgr for a growing mirror company & works a lot at night and on weekends. We get along great and just appreciate each other's company. So we had a good night and I left about 11:15 to head home so I can get an early start on Saturday.Saturday morning I woke up about 6:30am and got ready to meet Valerie at her place and go to a huge neighborhood garage sale in Sharon's (her sister) neighborhood community. It wa pretty fun and we shopped til 11:30am...Val got some great baby furniture/toys/books etc..., her sister as well and I walked away with perfume and a couple books to read. Afterwards, we dropped stuff off at the houses and went to Wolfman's Pizza for lunch. We all sat outside and had a really nice lunch; it was Valerie, Sharon, their mom & myself. We talked and ate ur lucnh and then went our separate ways. I drove over to Burlington Coat Factory to buy some summer clothes for work and went home to hang out. I went thru some of my summer clothes, tried things on and moved alot of my winter stuff out of my closet to my spare room. I plant to get everything done this week so I can drop some stuff at Goodwill for donations. Ben came over after work and we decided to order subs from Upstate Pizza (favorite italian food in area) and chill out, watch race and TV shows we wanted to watch DVR'd from the week. It was fairly relaxing and we ended up passing out fairly early and slept in until 9:30am Sunday.We drove over to p/u breakfast @ Mc D's, came home and watched rest of race from Richmond, some more TV shows DVR'd, and rested all day since it was pouring rain all day off & on. Temps dropped to barely 60 and so WE chose to stay wam and cozy in bed all day. We took a nap mid-day and woke up to watch SinCity. It was just a stay in PJ's/movie watching weekend, which is OK with me. I just needed that since for some time I have been running and going constantly. We went over to Dave & Lori's to visit for a while and hang out. Came home again & ate our left overs from Sat night and vegged out for rest of night. Overall, I truly enjoyed my weekend, I wasn't rushed to get anywhere at anytime and it was really nice. I like having weekends with no specific plans. This week I plan to get my summer stuff all done, figure out more of my budget and do some more re-arranging in the house. Ben will be coming over tonight for Prison Break, 24 and Medium. We will make Spaghetti & Meatballs with our sauce. I hate when I have to be out during the week, I rather do all that on the weekends. I like having the open night schedule to do as I please, with whom or without anyone.Work is VERY slow today, mainly cause it is just before Summer, it will be busier this upcoming season. I haven't had many calls or much work to do today, BUT I am not complaining! I have a fairly easy job and love the freedom we have as well. I like everyone I work with daily and don't have any issues with anyone either. I like the business environment and the consistant amount of new faces I see everyday. This is definitely a good opportunity for me and I feel good about it too. I just hate Mondays and just the fact it is 1st day back for weekend. I wish I could get one mroe day off for weekends, just to make it 3 days off and work Tues-Fri 10 hrs a day/..that would be ideal, maybe I can work something out if I get more time in here~hmmmmmI'm going to leave you with that and will catch up later in week... going to try to make it to a Charlotte Sting Game this season since the Bobcats are over...gotta get out and about every so often...makes life interesting!!Have a Happy Monday....and week
HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO....
WELL LAST NIGHT'S EVENTS HELPED KICK OFF MY CINCO DE MAYO WEEKEND....
Ben came over and I surprised him with a BBQ dinner, Balloons and birthday cards. He was very happy, we made our way over to neighbor's to hang out, shoot pool and drink. We had a good time together with the neighbors and grilled out some damn good Bubba burgers too. We watched some TV shows and hung out.
**** Plans changed, I am going out with Dustin (online friend for about 7 months and we hung out before). He has been a good friend, we hang out for a while, then don't then do. It os weird but he isnt looking for anything more than friends with benefits, but thats NOT what I want. We are going to Azteca in Matthews--eat some Mexi-food, drink marguritas and then go back to his place and drink some more....I won't be drinking too much If I am driving home later tonight or I might crash on the couch if I cannot drive..either way I am safe!! Saturday, I will probably have lunch w/ Jeff (online guy who works with Ron at Rick's) for lunch and chill, then Sunday, I am meeting Jeremiah for lunch and Knights game...YEA--It's my 1st one I have been to since I worked for Maersk 6 yrs ago..BUT I really want to eat some MEXICAN food, buy more Yaeger & have a chill night in the neighborhood. I hope Victoria & Bill will be home later, so we can have some let loose fun...listen to o music and shoot pool again. We always have good times, lots of laughs and it is just entertaining. Ron will be working nights this weekend but I am hoping we can hang out tomorrow afternoon when he is done at dealership before going to Rick's. And Sunday will definitely be a day I would like to catch up with him too!!! We really haven't spent much time together in the last week, but I know it will ALL fall into the place and things will happen when they are supposed to.
The above pictures of Me & Tigger were taken last night---I cannot stand the pictures that come off the camera phones, they suck big-time. One of my gift ideas when my birthday or whatever come around, I want an I-POD & Digital Camera...Or one day soon, I will be able to afford those things and enjoy the better things I want too. I just need to make a stop over at the club's I talked about previously and actually talk to someone there and see what they are looking for. If they don't work out, I need to get over to a restaurant in Southpark or close -by to make some good $$$...
As for the rest of my weekend, well I think it will greatly depend on the weather. It may just be a movie & popcorn weekend, stay in pajamas and relax most of it if the RAIN comes like they predict in 6 News. I am happy this weekend I have no plans and can kind of wing it.
This week I signed a new lease for the place I am living, cause I am not wanting roommates and will just pay the whole amount for 2 people. It will be tough but I will get thru it and come out smelling like roses...LOL.
Well work to be done, life has sure been crazy in the last few months but I plan to enjoy this summer, work my ass off and get what I truly want...
Cya ...HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO.....PARTY IT UP, BE SAFE AND CATCH YA'LL LATER!!
Yea, It's Thursday!!!
Well since I NOW figured it out, as to what it takes to upload pictures to my blog, here we go today!
This is my 3 yr old Tabby cat, Tigger. She is my pride and joy, my lil' baby girl! I found her over 3 yrs ago as a stray; took her in gave her all the love she needed and became an immediate family member. Granted, for all my life, I was allergic to cats, GO FIGURE!!! But she doesn't bother my allergies at all. She has gained some weight in the last 1-1/2 yrs but she is still active and can't get enough lovin' from her mommy! She is very cuddly, friendly, vocal(all day), loves to be "pet" all the time, and lets me know when she is ready to eat at night....Thats' my baby, Tigger.
Well after a couple of week of talking about Ron, as you will see he is no FIGMENT on my Imagination! I also included a picture of both of us, last week when we were letting loose and having some fun at his place next door. He has not let me down or made me feel is not a stand up guy. He will be celebrating his 27th b-day in 3 weeks & I am very excited. We have had a bunch of fun since we met and look forward to many more.... He is very sweet, 6' tall, blue eyes, tan & has a great deep Texas accent to boot... He works hard at selling Commercial Fleet vehicles at Ford and also works at Rick's Cabaret a couple nights a week as door/VIP Bouncer.
Today is Ben & my Dad's birthday...Taurus's and believe me when I got married 4 yrs ago, I married someone very much like my DAD. The are 28 yrs apart and are completely stubborn. My Dad is being missed very much today, wish I was closer so we can celebrate his Birthday, and I truly hope he knows how imporant he is to me. I am being very nice & invited Ben over to spend time with my neighbors and grill out dinner for his birthday. He has no one here who would do anything for him, and I might as well make it nice for him. He had to work all day and I just hope it went smoothly and he will be in good spirits when he comes over. It has been a weird day, mixed feelings about Ben but I think by me going the extra mile and making today nice for him will give me peace of mind.
Anyways, Hapy Birthday to all the Taurus's out there.... Tomorrow is thankfully Friday and also Cinco de Mayo so party time this weekend....Fun Fun!!!
Celebrate-----Good times, Oh YEA
Well here is a recent picture I had from Christmas time {I am on the right}. I plan to get some more taken VERY soon with my new blondish highlights and cut. I want to post some of my new "home"and etc.... Now, y'all can see the cutie behind all the posts.
I am having a great week, it's been a fairly quick one at that. As of Tuesday afternoon, I have all paperwork needed to file for divorce this month and I am on the fence about it! I have spoken to my family and friends and they support my decision. Ben & I have already split our personal items and he just needs to get the rest of it (when he was evicted from the house and I took alot) from my garage. It is all boxed up and ready to be taken to storage. I am feeling anxious and relieved, this past yr has been a roller coaster of events and emotions.I am truly appreciative of the time I have had finding out who I am and what I want in life, who I want to surround myself with and just staying focused on the bright future.
I am very happy living where I am and know once I get my budget arranged better, I will have income I can use for clothes, shoes, fun/entertainment. Things will be a bit tight with money until I get a 2nd job, waitressing at an "entertainment establishment". Yes, a gentleman's club of sorts, just more of a upscale environment. I figured I have a cute/curvacious body and personality to fit right in and make a good amount of $$ especially on weekends and all. It would definetly be a great job for me, since I am very open minded and love meeting new people. We will see I am supposed to fill out applications at each place and go from there....La Dee Da
I just got (2) tickets to the Wachovia Championship for Thursday in Charlotte. It would be a great chance to see the PGA Tour up-close & personal. I am thinking of skipping out on work and go--if I can find someone to go with me, I won't do it alone!! . I hate having tixs for something so late or not too much time to plan.
Well toodles for the night, at a loss of words to continue..Bye
This weekend was just what I needed. Friday night I went out with Valerie & Kelly and a few of their friends for dinner. We all met at T-Bones on Lake Wylie and it was soo much fun. We had drinks and hung out on the deck outside on the water. Then had a table inside and we ate a great/delicious dinner and had a good time. I met some new friends of theirs and this was the first time I saw Valerie since end of last summer. Meanwhile, she is 4 months pregnant and due October 1st, 2006, barley showing a little pouch and cute as ever. Her friend was also pregnant, 6 months and due in July. I felt very comfortable and relaxed and just truly enjoyed the company and good laughs we all had. It was a great atmosphere at T-Bones and definitely want to go back with friends in the summer. It was nice to be around new faces and having a nice time. I got home fairly early and watched some TV and went to bed.I woke up Saturday morning and was felt like cleaning house, so I vacuumed, dusted and did some cleaning of the house. Supposed to have a lady stop by to check out my place for the other bedroom but she bailed twice! So la dee freaking da!! My next project will be the garage, to organize it better and get the stuff I don't need out of it! There are lots of boxes and odd n' ends all over and just needs to be placed properly. I will need to get the decorative shelving for my bedroom so I can get all my favorite statues and collectibles on display. I still have curtains to buy and little things to do but pretty much I am settled and ready for the long haul stay! I didn't end up doing a lot of anything this weekend, I did laundry and took care of what I wanted for once. I did not see much of Ron and didn't make a big deal about it.I spent the evening with Ben Saturday and we hung out, drank/smoked some, and talked a little. We basically watched the Busch Race, some TV shows, and movies we wanted to see.So Sunday we made breakfast, went grocery shopping for dinner (good ol' BBQ--Burgers), watched more movies, smoked some good and relaxed. I took a bubble bath and just enjoyed my weekend the best I could and it was very nice. I didn't have many plans beyond Friday night and it was pretty nice that way. I talked to my landlord, she has been wanting to rent out the other room we have at my place but with talking with Lisa and looking at my expenses and all; I will keep it for myself. I truly love living alone and really can't see myself doing it any other way. I will have to be more thrifty with my money and possibly get another job, waiting table and such nearby so I can make some extra cash. It would be helpful for my sanity too. Give me less time to hang out at the house and be tempted to call Ben to come over & all. That is getting very old, I feel if I get another job, I can be out more and meeting new people and making money too. We get along great when we are not talking about divorce and separating again. He is very sensitive about it and he knows it is definite. It just may take some extra time for me to file the paperwork and proceed with it once & for all. But I am good for now and if I keep him on good mood, it should be smooth sailing. He just has to get over this and move on. We can be friends, nothing more or less. He just needs to let me go and allow himself time to find out who he is and wants in his life ...I do not know what this week will bring for me, I have plans with Ben afterwork so we can watch the Nextel Cup Race since it was postponed because of rain. It will be on today at 12 and I DVR'd it to watch later. But I do want to spend more time with Ron this week, possibly Wed & Thurs and whenever else he can see me. It will be almost a week since we hung out but I am not being clingy or weird about it. He was busy and I am just taking things very slow to see what can come of this..:0) Well today is moving quite fast already. After work, I will be heading to my storage unit for summer clothes and so I can pack away my heavy winter stuff. No need for those anymore!! Well lunch time is near....catch you later this week...
