Friday, Friday, Friday...
I have been giving a lot of thought to my current living & separation arrangement. I have done the whole online dating scene and it hasn't worked out at all. I have dted and met a bunch of men who aren't my type and I have not been happy with anyone since Ben. It's been a a experince and nothing but disappointment and disgust.**I hate dating and looking for my next soulmate, when all along there has been someone who has loved & accepted me unconditionally, Ben (my husband of almost 5 yrs). When I left him March 2005, no matter what I was doing, who I was with/sleeping with or what our problems were, he has always been there willing to take me back and work at it. It has taken me this long to come to some realization HE is serious about our marriage, he has made baby steps to keep me important to him and is mor than willing to work this marriage so we last forever. Granted, I have blogged about him sine day 1 on here about how I didn't want to be with him, he is lazy/unmotivated, that we didn't have a good history of stability, BUT if he was given this LAST chance to prove to me he has changed and willing to do what it takes, then why shoudn't I?? He tells me he knows how EASY it would be for me to leave and say forget it, so why would he risk losing me for good? Can you see it my way? I know I keep going back n' forth with this whole situation, I just feel I would regret it if I didn't give our marriage one last chance to see if it can work. He has made me happy in the past and if we work hard at our relationship, it can be FOREVER. It will take two of us, not just one, and he sees it that way too. We know we CANNOT fix us or each other, it will take more than that.
Yes, this will be a big step for me. I want us to be honest about EVERYTHING {credit card debt, past due accts just to name a few) because we need to know what we are getting into (again). He needs to be willing to go to marital counseling (when we find someone who we can trust and feel comfy with), have open communication, don't be lazy & wanting to do things with my friends and not be anit-social. There is trust issues and committment issues as well. Things will have to change if we do fix this "broken marriage". If we end up being together then it all worked out for a reason. I truly feel if we can overcome some of the obstacles (as we have in past), we can make this truly a loving and rewarding marriage again. I am feeling a little overwhelmed and feeling weary about all of this, but I need it for me to figure out once again how it can be...on MY TERMS. Time will tell with all of this, BUT I am willing to give it all I have to make it work, as long as he doesn't expect me to do all the work. This weekend will be a good one, time to work out alot and talk and compromise on how this marriage can be helped and saved. I honestly do not want to go out and look for anyone else, HE is the man I truly LOVE.
This week, I have decided to get back in Pure Romance Parties. It is an in-home Ladies Only party program/plan. I was selling the products about a yr ago and stopped due to the issues with marriage & all. I did absolutley great when I started, had great sales and customers, repeat party women and orders. I can truly make it work even more for me and it will give me the freedom to have a social life outside of the house and make some good money doing these parties. I will make every attempt to make this MY success story and grow my business. This time I will be more organized and on top of what I need to run an in-home business. I will network and spread the word about my starting over and selling such great prooducts. I will keep on top of everything, follow up with customers and hostesses, advertise and be the best I can be. I still have my old customer info and I can just re-ignite the spark for them once again. I am feeling very motivated and dedicated to doing something I can eventually work with full time & be able to work from home. It just will take some time and effort on my part, which I am willing to do. I am very exicted and anxious to start this business again and sell top of the line products for the relationship enhancement aspect in a relationship.
If you are intersted in looking at the array of products we offer, please feel free to check out the website, www.pureromance.com. I invite you to browse the site and if you are in North/South Carolina, you can contact me directly for orders, information or a free catalogue! Email me @ trilliumplace@yahoo.com..Thanks a bunch in advance!
Well work is very quiet today and I have some things to get done before I head out...Will keep ya'll posted on the progress of my business, love-life & social life...
Have a great weekend...and HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY to all the Mom's out there!!! C-ya
posted by MyLifeAsIChoose2LiveIt @ 10:02 AM
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