MyWorldAsIChoose2LiveIt

Half-Nekkid Thursday...

Well TODAY is the start to Speed-Streets Uptown in Charlotte. I am actually looking forward to going up there every night this weekend and see the concerts they are having with SevenDust, Staind, REO Speedwagon, MC Hammer, Twisted Sister, Gin Bossoms and many more. It should be fun and we'll walk around & see all different cars & vendors. We are not going to the race this Sunday but can't wait to watch it in the comfort of my own home.
This weekend is going to be busy for us. Friday, we're going SpeedStreets with some friends, Saturday Robin will come up for the day to spend w/ me shopping for decor for her home. Afterwards, we are all going out for dinner (preferrably Outback) then head back up to SpeedStreets. Sunday we are going to Lake Wylie for the afternoon with a bunch of friends to BBQ, swim and hang out. We don't have plans for Monday but I think we will just enjoy the day together and do things around the house. I look forward to sleeping in Sunday and Monday, spending time with hubby and getting things right with us. He is so helpful and willing to do things for me, help out the best way he can.
Last night, he came home and cooked me a delicious baked chicken and angel hair pasta with parmasean cheese dinner. It was so good and we relaxed & watched American Idol Finale and some shows we had DVR'd. It was just nice hanging out and being together & snuggling. My bedroom has become "our sanctuary" for watching TV and other activites. We don't like the temporary couch downstairs and the TV sucks so we spend all our time in my bed...not a problem!! Eventually we plan to move our couch from our house along w/ the Flat Screen TV & maybe our entertainment ctr into the living room downstairs. We have brainstorming some ideas as to what we can use at "my" new place that we had at the old house, it can be useful & saves us money right now, better for now using stuff we had before. Don't have to worry about extra $$ for furniture and such...Well as stated previously, things all take time, no need to rush and push for a lot right off the beginning.
I am thrilled things have been going well with Ben & I over the last few weeks. I know I have not disclosed every detail of how I decided to give him one more chance to give this marriage a 2nd chance. Honestly, I have come a long way from my mindset a yr ago, I did not want anything to do with him and was ready to rid of him then. Glad NC has requirement of 1 yr separation before filing for Divorce, so I guess we lucked out that we worked this out amicably enough to where I am wanting to give US a chance to & not file for divorce. I have no regrets and feel I made a good decision for my future & happiness. I haven't felt this happy in a long time, maybe since about a yr after we got married. I just never felt such a connection like I do now, it is a great feeling waking up next to someone I love with all my heart and want to devote my life to.

A few things that are scattered throughout my mind...

• the fact Ben does not want to talk about my past yr without him (he wants to forget it all happned, which I feel isn't fair cause I did things I am not proud of or feel have hurt him deeply than expressed to me),
• his issues with me directly and how he feels about this marriage overall. I guess this will all be discussed when we get to counseling..
• A lot to discuss and be able to talk about without anger and disrespect towards one another. That was one more straw that broke the camels back in our relationship, no respect from him or our marriage.
• He seemed to take everything for granted, when today, he does not. He realizes as well as I do, counseling won't make it all fixed right away but we can work out the issues in our marriage that caused the anger and abuse and then move forward.
• I have to admit I am concerned about the cost of the sessions (last time it got too expensive); I am only one with coverage for health-care thru BC/BS, they cover 30 visits a yr and it is $25/visit for co-pay. They referred me to a few therapists in area and I called & got nowhere, but at least I am trying. Even if I get some 1 on 1 sessions with therapist, it would be beneficial in the logn run, better communication skills and be able to work out problems without fighting them out.
• I want to make this work and not fail again. I feel I let down a lot of people last yr but I felt I was left with no choice at that time. I know if we work hard and go to sessions together and talk out these problems, there is no reason why we can't make it last.

Today I have made appts for our cat, Tigger to get groomed next Saturday and has a Vet appt for June 24th so she will be 100% cleared and looking great again. Lately she is shedding like crazy and it is nasty. It is only going to cause my allergies to get out of whack, so it's better to get her groomed!!

Ideas for Anniversay Getaway..in September

1. Key West for 4 days--1st choice !!
2. Pigeon Forge area, Tennessee--#2 CHOICE..less expenive than above to get there and have more $$ for fun things to do!!!
3. Mountain lodge with jacuzzi {already stayed there last winter} for long weekend
4. Savannah Georgia, never been but hear it is beautiful in September
5. Charleston, SC (never been to) and stay in bed n' breakfast
6. JUST ANYWHERE AWAY FROM CHARLOTTE

Feel free to give an ideas..we live in North Carolina..

Well off for now..

posted by MyLifeAsIChoose2LiveIt @ 8:16 AM