The Weekend Ended Up Like...
Nothing I Expected...Ok, it wasn't the greatest weekend! Friday night after work Ben & I decided to hang out with our neighbors next door. We never made it uptown but I didn't care, it was shitty outside and raining mostly so no fun if we did go! We got really tore up & shot pool all night. We always have a good time with Victoria and Bill, they are a lot of fun and they are happy we are trying to work this all out. So it was nice to hang out with another couple, who are a bit older than us.
Saturday my car broke down on the way to get Tigger groomed in Matthews. Luckily I was already parked at McD's for breakfast but got it started and got 1/2 mile away and it dies. So I left my car in parking lot near Alltel and got a cab home with Tigger in her crate... It has been one issue after another w/ the car and I only hope it will be fixed quickly & correctly. It kept stalling and dying out after we tried to accelerate the car. We even got it on 485 and up to speed and then it died again, it wasnt starting at all after that. Sunday afternoon, we finally had Dave (ben's boss) come down to tow it on his trailor to their shop. So now they are all working on the damn thing, changing out spark plugs, fuel filter and fuel pump. Hopefully this will be the fix it needed. I truly appreciate the ability to drive to & from where I need to be when I am without my car!! I needed to reschedule the cat's appt, had to spend $40 getting a cab back home and anxiously awating Ben's arrival at home so we can try to get it back over to Pineville. It was a frustrating two days to say the least.
BUT Sunday Ben & I had some good "quality" time and talked a lot (correction, I talked alot ) and just trying to get him to express his feelings or resentments to me so we can get thru all this bullshit. I am happy we are back together, it feels right forme, but I wonder if it is just because I am comfortable and not wanting to date again. I was out there and hated the dating scene, it wasn't enjoyable at all and I felt I was best suited to be with Ben afterall. He has always been someone I can "trust" and feel unconditional love with for the last 9 yrs.
More than anything, I want to prove everyone wrong and show Ben & I can be a party-free adults who are in a loving and committed marriage and we will last for yrs to come. I honestly feel we do belong together and we have so much love between the two of us--that is undeniable.
On the other hand I am not getting much "support" from my mother lately. She is something else, besides a two-faced woman. She really needs to get back on her meds and chill the f*** out! She is becoming too hostile with me and not the least bit concerned about whether this reconciliation is important and something I want! She thinks I shouldn't allow him to stay with me and give him another chance. Granted, he HASNT' moved into my place and we haven't really talked much about it. I am taking things day by day and we are slowly getting into a routine I am comfortable with. We do need to discuss the bills and factors involved w/ his moving in and all. I need all the bills he still owes money, how much he will contribute to my rent payment monthly and other expenses to take into consideration. We need to sit down and get down to the nitty gritty very soon and I hope he will be as willing as he says he will be. It is all about 100% honestly and I am willing to give as much as I can.
This week is already starting out on a sour note, the guys changed out spark plugs, fuel filter and car still wasn't running right. Sputtering and not accelerating much so they checked the fuel pump last night. They think that or the distributor can be the other factors with this problem I am currently experiencing. Damn...I seriously need to get into a more reliable car here soon...this car isn't reliable anymore and I cannot deal with being without a car for longer than a day!!!
Hope it all turns out for the best and I can get to & from where I need to be.....don't have much planned for the upcoming weekend, possibly go on Pontoon boat for Valerie's 30th birthday, up on Lake Norman. It will depend on the car situation and weather too....
posted by MyLifeAsIChoose2LiveIt @ 7:33 AM
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