Thankfully Thursday!
The car is running and I drove to work today fine. I am relieved for now.Last night Ben & I went for our 1st couple counseling session and boy, AM I DISAPPOINTED! He truly is not the man I thought he was or could be! Basically, this marriage will NOT work if he is not willing to make changes and move forward into a positive lifestyle. I am so unhappy right now with the whole situation and I regret allowing him to come back into my life more permanently.
I seriously need the weekend ahead to think about what it is I want from this, what is going to make me happy and what my future is going to end up being if I stay with Ben. I am truly beside myself and verge of tears as I talk to my friends and family. This doesn't sit well with me and I feel my world once again is crashing down on me. I feel very alone and sad by the discussion from last night, it will not get any better if I remain numb to his disillusionment of "Everything is FINE" mentality..it just won't work and I cannot live that way AGAIN.
Anyway I will keep it short for now, I am just not all in the midset to blog today but I will see what the rest of day brings for me...
posted by MyLifeAsIChoose2LiveIt @ 10:11 AM
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