MyWorldAsIChoose2LiveIt

Well today has been full of surprises!! I had a bunch of messages from my ad on True.com & Lovehappens.com. I was pretty excited when I got into office and had emails to read from new men. To be honest I am sick of the dating thing!! It is exhausting and makes me feel I am a player but I am not playing anyone. I keep it real by telling them I am dating around a bit and meeting but it usually doesnt go past first date with most of men I have been meeting. Just didnt feel anything or any type of attractooion on my part. I am hoping I do find someone soon who I feel a connection with and can follow my heart with it. I talked to Sam (Fri night date) after work Monday and think he feels the same about me, which is cool. Want to see where things lead as well...but time will tell, as with most things in life. I have been talking to a couple of guys lately and some are more open to meeting & others are not, they are just weirded out when i ask them to call me, I guess they are scared to get the phone call out of way! With whom I meet is always excting, I met a new guy online today, John, he winked @ me first and we started chatting and emailing. He seems pretty cool and looking forward to meeting him afterwork onThursday.
But anyway hope after this weekend I will know something in regard to a relastionship and know whom I will share my time with...feel something for one person and go from there. I am so confused with all this excitement. I look forward to meeting new guys but it is getting old.
I want to meet someone who is there for me when I need, knows how t be understanding & patient that realtionship take time, give space when we both need it, can keep up w/ my high sex drive & needs, and wants to have a future together. That is mainly important to me nowadays. Someone to have fun, share good & bad things with each other, enjoy time off with and can share parts of me and eventually all of me with...Not too much to ask for right? I am a fun person, very loving, affectionate, intelligent, have morals and values and can hold my own in a relationship. I am feeling like I want to settle down again and have that one person in my life..BUT who will it be?? I like the fact I have a choice now, not having to settle either.

Life is soo good for me right now, I cannot complain at all. I love being free and free of marital obligations with Ben. He has been getting soo pissy with me and not getting thru his thick skull I am not going to change my mind. He is trying to manipulate me into thinking he will change and he wont, " a tiger does not chage his stripes" I love that quote now~~ I hate being mean or heartless but he seems to get it sometimes and other times he doesnt. It drives me nuts over and over. But he is still trying to get me to see his way, which wont happen ever again; he is just clueless how much damage he did to our relationship and I will never be with him again in a relationship. Having NO children in our 8 yrs together was a blessing and thankfully I will put faith in God that I will find a man who will want kids and be a good father/husband. I will not settle for someone who even has such little resect for me and our life together to do what he did to me for yrs!!!

Work has been busy like all hell today. Big execs are here all day for meeting so I have been running around and taking care of things with food, drinks and such.
Hope tonight will go well...Ben will come over to chat a bit after work...it is less than 3 weeks til I file for divorce in North Carolina...It will the best day of my life, turn over a NEW leaf for good..with him not being in my life any longer and married ...
Well off for rest of day----catch y'all later...bye

posted by MyLifeAsIChoose2LiveIt @ 3:37 PM