MyWorldAsIChoose2LiveIt

WOOOWW...It sure has been a Week

Last week was one of the most stressful & awful weeks of my life..no exaggeration!! Tuesday I woke up w/ a very sore throat and came home early from work and stayed in bed the rest of week. I went to Dr's the next morning to find out I had strep/bacterial infection in my chest and had a 101.9 fever, which remained all week. I couldnt move for 2 days, my body was aching badly, had severe cough, congestion and just ill to the bone. I am just starting to feel normal today, after almost a week!

To add to all the stress already, Ben informed me Monday night (before V-day) that the mortgage for the house was FORCLOSED in January 2006 and there was nothing we could do about it now. I was pissed, mad, disgusted and beside myself with anger. I called tuesday to speak w/mortgage company and we "supposedly" had til March 1th to either come up with full amount of loan (ouch--$160,000 +) or we would be evicted. Luckily until now, I had just about ALL my personal items out of house except for a couple items. So that would give us time to move everything out right? NO...Not at all!!! Friday afternoon I got a call from Ben telling me someone was at the house that afternoon & changed the locks! So, no more March deadline to vacate the premises! I was flipping mad, I called mortgage company and they said they did indeed changed the locks and we had to call contractor to get into the house. They never explained why I would of been told March 11th to vacate but needless to say, I needed to get stuff out of there! I went over to my house and there was my cat, Tigger, sitting in the front window meowing. She was all freaked out & I FELT SOO BAD.. There was no way to get inside without breaking and entering. So I had to leave her there all alone until the next morning. I was soo upset, knowing that Tigger probably hadn't food to eat until we get into the home, whenever that will be. So luckily, I got in touch with contractor and made arrangements to meet at the house 7 am Saturday. He was nice enough to let me get my cat, "hope chest"w/sheets (gift form my mom for wedding), wedding dress, my aunt's fine china (old & passed down to me) and thats it! He informed us we could contact our bank to arrange to get a truck so we can move everything out of the house entirely, so nothing would be left behind. I mean there is a bed, furniture, table, chairs, appliances my parents bought for us, etc...We had no way of getting a U-Haul last minute! So possibly this weekend I can get more stuff out of there.

To say the least, I am soo sick of the bullshit & deceit with Ben. He has done nothing but deceive me into believing he was making good on the payments, as agreed in our Separation Agreement, and I am done with the aggravation, stress and ill feelings. He needs to fess up to his mistakes and do right for himself. He needs help and he isnt willing to get any. He cant explain where ALL his money went during the 8 months I been out of the house. He has no where to live, bathe, and sleep as of this past friday night. He was able to get some of his belongings Saturday morning and I was relieved at that. But the first thing he grabs at the house is HIS DRUGS..(pot i think is all he had) but geez...no clothes, drugs first!! Typical ben though, never ceases to amaze me. He managed to grab his bare necessities and that was it. This is going to be a long month as I see it and I am NOW looking for a new place to live in the meantime.

I have put an ad back onto Roommates.com for a bigger place with more room, less stress/hassle and have my cat with me so I dont have to give her up. It is hard finding a place where the landlord or owner allows pets. Tigger has been part of my life for almost 3 yrs and I am not walking away from her now! I have been in contact with 1 woman who I'll be meeting Tues night; she has a 3 bedroom 2-1/2 bath townhome for rent. I am actually looking forward to seeing it. I am just not happy 100% where I am at now, cause of her daughter, problems roomie is experiencing with her life and how far it is from work. I want a place where I have space to chill, not feel cramped up & uncomfortable, less noise and be able to have Tigger with me, at all times. She has been thru so much in the last few days, I am relieved I have been able to keep her with me until now. So the rent at this place is $500/mo( incl utilities) and it looks like a big/decent size place. Keep my fingers crossed this one is a good place, cause I feel I am spinning wheels @ my current location and not getting where I need to be and besides it being soo far from work and all.. It would be nice to have a place where there would be no roomies, no drama/issues, and no chaos.

Well as you can imagine this weekend was very quiet, I didn't do a whole lot of ANYTHING. It was nice for a change, but I see a lot more going on in the next couple weeks before I head up to NJ for Joyce's memorial and all on the 11th of March. I am just hoping to find a place to call home, have some fun/"me" time and relax. I think the situation with the new place will be better..no kids, no dogs, more room, lots more storage areas, and a lot less driving to do to/from work. I want some quiet & peace in my life and have not gotten much since I left Ben almost a yr ago. So as this turns another page in my life story....lets hope this move will be for the best, and for a long term arrangement too!! I am sick of all the moving & chaos in my life...it is getting to be too much for me.

posted by MyLifeAsIChoose2LiveIt @ 1:36 PM