Woonderful Wednesday
Last night went well and I got home early enough so I can get up and go to work today. I awoke w/ a feeling of relief, peace & pure happiness. I don't even know why I forced myself to read his blog all this time, it ended up hurting my feelings & just leaving me feeling more bitter, BUT I am no longer interested in his blogg or life anymore!!I have someone new in my life, Nick, and he makes my heart go pitter pat. He is so polite, understanding, thoughtful, romantic, and very personable/outgoing. With the high goals he sets for himself and motivation, he will run again next fall for City Council and hopefully win!! Weirdly enough, I am NOT political at all and he is a conservative republican. Unfortunately, he didn't win this time but it was his first attempt. Nick comes from a good & stable background. His father is a Dr & his mom works for Investment Banker. He is very educated, interested more than any other man I've known in Politics and working to make a better life for himself. We talk so much about the future & goals. Granted, he is almost 4 yrs younger than me but he is mature and down to earth, I feel we are equals. I am certainly looking forward to going out with him Saturday to go dancing & taking my roomie along to meet his friends. We will dance all night, have some drinks and socialize. He cannot wait for me to meet his friends. He doesn't lie, deceive or make fun of me, at my expense. He truly cares for me. We have such a good connection, we have been talking for over 5 months on Yahoo IM so we pretty much know a lot about each other.
He knows things I have been doing in my spare time (with other men/drinking) and he accepts me, he doesn't judge me for any mistakes I made. He knows I am going thru a divorce and things take time; he has said he has waited this long to be with me, he can wait longer. He is big & strong, has strong family values/morals, drug-free, intelligent. We are waiting to see what will happen with us and take our time and not rush into things too soon. I have jumped around so much lately, I truly feel I need a break some all the drama & bullshit in my life. I need to let things go and don't get so hung up on the little stuff.
I feel 2006 has already been about BIG changes and since working for a stable & growing company, I will always put my best foot forward & work my hardest to make better for myself. I know with this company, I can grow and develop other skills to advance myself. I truly feel like my life is falling into place and I'm happy with the direction it is heading. If I can get some kind of nest-egg put aside so I can get my own place in a yr or so...that would be my true dream:0)~~~ I can see myself being in my own place in a yr & having all who have brought me down & out----- OUT of my life for GOOD.
As I look toward my future, it is bright and glowing. I know if I can get past all this right now, I will set for the rest of my life....Just smile and let it all go!!!
I have been speaking a lot with Ben (my ex-husband) since our filing for Divorce date is coon coming (May 4th). I have been mentioning selling the house, since he can't afford to live there. He refuses to sell the house, I think it has to do with giving up something we had together... but as I see it, he can't sell it or do anything with it unless I sign over the deed to him, which has not been done. He says he's willing to let things me go and cut "his losses" and grant me a "non-contested" divorce, which is a sigh of relief. I am anticipating a glitch sometime between now & then but I am staying hopeful. I am over him and all his immature behaviors, wanto nothing to do with him once divorce is final. Ben has nothing to offer any woman and I only see him being a lonely old man, all by himself. He doesn't even take care of the bare necessities of the house OR himself! He seriously needs to stop mooping around and get motivated to live his life alone & be surrounded by people who are clean and sober.
Going for now..will update you soon...Bye
posted by MyLifeAsIChoose2LiveIt @ 12:22 PM
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