MyWorldAsIChoose2LiveIt

Windy & Cold Saturday

OMG, this has certainly been a week of surpises and great happenings. I have a BIG date tonight..I mean one where he picks you up, go out for dinner & drinks, then dancing uptown. I am soo excited, feel like a kid in FAO Schwartz Toy Store!
I met him about 6 months ago online thru Yahoo Im's but never took the plunge to meet him offline. So this week we met for coffee nearby. He is definetly someone I had longed to meet! I have had my share of losers & uglies thru the online thing but HE's different. He is 26, big build/muscular, 5'7, hazel eyes and dirty blond hair. He is political (ran for lcoal government in Nov 05) and going to school to get his Bachelors' for Business at UNCC. We were instantly into each other, I didnt expect anything less. I made a pact with myself that I am not going to "give in" to raging hormones and I will wait to give anything up w/ this or ANY guy. He is not pushing/rushing for anything soon and that is a good move on his part.

My manager at AMWINS offered me the permanent job with their company, starting Monday 1/16. I will start out at the same rate pay I am at now plus 3 weeks paid time off, 10 paid holidays, great health/vison/dental benefits, 401k, and life insurance. What more can I ask for now?? I gladly accepted the position and they kept telling me how amazing I am @ my job, learned so quickly & all the great feedback they received about me. I am not surprised cause as long as I enjoy what I do, I will blow them away. So that offer certainly gave me a great start to this weekend.
I went over David's last night to do some celebrating and we had another long talk, he is a little upset that I wont commit to him, but why should I? He is a really nice guy but he is like talking to a 'dead horse', sometimes. He is boring in bed {just pretty much does the same this over & over/nothing exciting or erotic}, he never has been in a long term relationship before, and is too quiet; I need someone who will be happy with me (express emotions) and want to progress in a relationship. I didn't even think of giving him any "ass" last night, we just went to sleep together. When we woke up, I got up and dressed & left to come home. He was wondering why I changed and I told him we are better as friends with "no benefits". I dont need all the shit that goes along with sleeping him either.
As you may read in my entries, I am one who gives it away too freely. I have always been that way UNTIL I met my ex-husband and now since I am "single" I seem to have fallen back into that same old routine. I don't want to be that woman, NO MORE. I want something more than that with a man, not just friends with benefits or a "fuck buddy". So now I have set myself a goal, to challenge myself to learn some self control & make myself hold off on giving anything up. I want a man with whom it will truly be worth waiting for and takes time to really know me & fall in love with me first. Be a woman worthly of a stable monogamous relationship that someone who love for me to meet his family. A man who knows how to makeme feel like a queen, appreciated, and can love to me and do it in a loving way too. I want to have romance and passion, stuff people feel when it is supposed to be!

But anyway.. will let you know how the date goes tonight with Nick and I will stand by my pact to not to give in to any "sex" pressure until I am fully ready to be with someone monogamously.

posted by MyLifeAsIChoose2LiveIt @ 4:04 PM