Monday..Dreary Monday
Well this weekend was even better than last!! Not exactly what I was expecting but I had lots of fun. Friday night I went up to Amos' Southend with David M (from work) for the COLD/Turkey Ball 106.5 show. It was a good event, they had 2 new bands open for them and when COLD finally made there appearance, it was a rocking show. There were a few "bar" fights during the night but we had lots of fun. As we were walking out, our ears were ringing from the loud music al night. We stopped at the Liberty East Diner for something to eat and went back to my place. David stayed over and as usual he slept on the floor of my room. I certainly do not have a bed large enough for both of us, so we make do. We snuggled and he held me in his arms for most of the night as we laid on the floor. We honestly just had fun together. I am so glad I took the initiative to talk with him when we first started at Technocom, we have created a great friendship and I don't want to lose that. He is a great guy and I only wish we were ready to be exclusive & experience how great we could of been together as a couple, but I can handle being friends w/ benefits now.My weekend with Tim started out better than it ended up, at least I had a chance to meet some more of Tim's friends, and we all got pretty twisted Saturday night. But when I arrived we went to Inflictions Tattoo shop to get my tongue ring changed..YEA, finally one I can live with!! We stopped at mall and I of course had to buy some clothes for myself...I am losing some weight and I look good in size 4's now!! Then hung out at his place until early evening where we met at his friend, Paco's, and we started the drinking. I did my first YAGERBOMB and it was the SHIT. Then we had a bite to eat at deli and then headed downtown for playing darts and drank some more and then over to club near their place where we danced til the wee hours of morning! We crawled in the door at nearly 3:30am!!! But we had a blast and it was all well worth it! Sunday we had a lazy day, stayed in bed til 12pm and then headed to Buffalo Wild Wings for the football games and wings. We had fun but I wasn't feeling too great since we drank so much Sat night and the way he was acting with me. But we had fun, enjoyed the games & watched the last race before I left to come back to Charlotte.
Anyway, as of Dec 12th, I will no longer pay for me & Matt's cell phones!! I have been doing so for over 7 months & now the MF'r wont even call me or anything. So fugg him and his damn 2 yr contract. I am looking into other options for next month and not going to get all worried about this bill anymore. I can find something where I pay 1/2 of what I am paying now for the 2 phones and don't have to deal with him either way. He can screw himself as far as I am concerned. I am no LONGER someone who has to monetarily support his ass nor am I his sugar mama' & if he hasn't even contacted me for the sake of being a friend, well forget this. It is becoming more an money issue than anything else, damn $130/month bill. It is ridiculous for me to pay for both of our phones and WE don't even talk or anything as of end of Sept. when HE decided to break it off cause he didn't want me to wait for him to decide what he wants in his life. This bullshit isn't working for me...let's see how good he has it when his phone cuts off a couple days after bill is due. Guess his new g/f will have to help him out and then some. Yes, as you can tell I am still bitter about a lot that happened in our breakup and he has seen & heard the last from me!
But now with this new man in my life, I really like him but he has become more clingy or touchy-feely now. Granted, we've had 3 great weekends together but he is expecting more of me than I can give. I mean he knows my situation with my divorce/separation but I am not willing to be w/ him solely. Honestly, I don't like the dating scene and not into a bunch of one-nighters. I admit I do like the attention I get from Tim & how sweet/super nice he is but HE is trying to hard to make sure I'm happy, when I am happy with him. We spent yesterday fairly silent with each other because I had A LOT on my mind and was not feeling very comfortable w/ the way he was acting, but now I am more clear on how I feel and what needs to be done w/ us. I actually replied to his email from last night and explained my situation and how I truly feel and so I hope that clears up any misunderstandings and we can move forward. He has such a good heart and is giving and loves being w/ me; doesn't make fun of me nor tell me I need to lose 10-15 pounds to make him happy. I REALLY want to see what develops with us and go from there. I am already looking forward to the weekend after Thanksgiving to head back up there and have more quality time with Tim.
I have begun the search of looking for a roommate situation and applied for some jobs online this morning. Your probably thinking this is too soon but I think I need to get a fresh start. I am getting nowhere with a better job and where I am living is OK but I think I can find better. It is just where I am at now, is too close to my soon to be ex-husband and I think giving us more physical space/living distance, and not being in same area will really define what will happen over the next 6 months until we get DIVORCED. He is really driving me crazy and has even put some threats out there towards me and has made more nasty comments too. He has even been dumb enough to tell me he as a gun now...DUMBASS should of never said that to me, I can use it even more against him if I need to. This is getting to be too much for me to deal with so I am going to go and move onto bigger & hopefully better things. I haven't told anyone else of my intentions and only will share this w/ people whom I can trust and who can understand why I am doing this too.
Well it is Monday afternoon and it is raining and nasty outside. Kinda of a slow Monday but I am trying my hardest to keep busy with contracts and meter reads & trying to get thru the next couple days until I get to fly home to NJ and be with my family...long time coming!
I have to run for now but will update you all later on whats going on.
posted by MyLifeAsIChoose2LiveIt @ 3:20 PM
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